I started reading this neat book a few weeks ago. It is 92 pages, the book fits in the palm of my hand, and it is filled with mountains of insightful tidbits for both men and women. It lets a man know how to treat a woman, and it lets a woman know how she should be treated.
The book is called, “How to Be a Good Husband.” I found it as I was checking out at the Princeton bookstore, Labyrinth Books.
How to Be a Good Husband
As I read sections of the book that contained instructions regarding the best way to tip your top hat in the presence of a lady I realized that not all of the book would contain accurate information. I noted the sections in which I enjoyed, and I discuss them below.
How to treat a lady
Do not act superior to a woman. She does not want you to insist on a daily basis how much better you are than she. Strive to become partners, rather than coach and player or teacher and student. It is a collaboration. Building the foundation of a new relationship is difficult. However, once it is built it lasts a lifetime.
If you are interested in finding a true companion than you should seek to find interest in some of the things she enjoys filling her time with. If you are too infatuated with yourself then you may not even know what she likes to do when you are not around. How do you fix this? Ask her questions. More importantly, listen to her answers. Does she like art? Take her on a date to an art class where you both paint or draw together. Low on cash? Have the date in the comfort of your own home. Buy some crayons, poster board, and maybe a bottle of wine. If you really like her you should start the evening by cooking her a delicious meal.
Tell her about your life
If you have not spoken to her for sometime, or even just a few hours, update her on the happenings of your life. Regardless of how trivial they may seem to you. Tell her what you are doing. She would love to hear your stories. What did you see on your travels? It may not have been the most interesting, earth-shattering experience for you, however, the fact that you are interested in telling her about it will mean the world to her. She may not listen or remember every detail of your story, but that is only because she is distracted by the excitement of you being interested enough to tell her a story. Please do not make her feel as though she should not be concerned with your life. That will lead you to the fast track of separation.
Lying is for losers so don’t be an asshole
Do not lie to her. Actually, you probably should not lie to anyone. Especially women. Women know when you are lying. They have many special powers. Lie detector is one of them. You may think you are so sly, but she is thinking how much of an asshole you are. Lying is a clear indication that you are not the man who deserves her attention. Lie to her, and you will end up alone. As you should. It may be difficult to start a conversation that must take place, but if you ignore it then it is only going to come back much worse in the not so far away future. Stream your life like Netflix streams movies. Talk about your life in real-time with her. As things happen they should be spoken about in the moment. These conversations will deepen your relationship compared to what will happen if you try to hide things from her. Remember, don’t be an asshole.
Have open discussions about money. The earlier, the better.Be honest and open about your finances and status from day one. Do not try to fool her into thinking you are someone you are not. It will come back to haunt you in the future. Even if she loves you so much to stay by your side, the two of you may not be adequately prepared for the financial obstacles that await you. You may think she has enough money to care for herself, and she may think you have enough money to care for both of you. In the end, it does not matter who makes the money. It is in both of your interests that work is a common activity so you are able to share the burdens of the economy. Do not, ever, brag about your financial success. It is likely you only have that success because of your affluent rearing. If you are a self-made man then you will never have to brag because your life’s work will speak volumes about your character. The moment you open your mouth to remind her how financially successful you are is the moment you start pushing away the highest rated women.
Unexpected gift at an unexpected time
Sean Connery said in the movie Finding Forrester, “The key to a woman’s heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.” Do you want to make her eyes sparkle? Do you want her to love you back as much as you love her? Expensive gifts are nice for specific occasions, but they are also expected. Do not offer her a CrackerJack prize as an engagement ring. Do offer her a $3 rose from 7-11 you stopped to pick up on your way home because you know she would appreciate the simple gesture.
Carve out a place in your mind for her
This can be one of the most challenging things to do, and is much easier said than done. It is difficult for any human because until you met her you have only had to worry about yourself. Your days are filled with the stop and go of life. Your life. That is why you must remind yourself on a daily basis to stop thinking about yourself, and spend a few minutes thinking about her. What could you do for her on a given day that would make her life easier? What could you do for her that would let you know you care about her? I promise that you will be quite amazed when you realize the potential of your own mind once you give it a chance to cultivate a beautiful garden of her pleasures. It may be difficult at first. Similar to the seemingly slow and unattractive process of starting a garden from scratch. Do not forget, however, that you are planting seeds in that garden. Your results will be determined by the type of seeds you plant. In reality, you just need to plant something because if you do not plant anything then your garden will remain forever bare.
Practice what you preach
Final thought on this topic for today. Please do not tell her that you love and care for her if you actually do not feel that way. Do not tell her you love her if a few hours later you treat her poorly. In this case, you do not deserve her. It may serve you well to reread this post until you begin to understand your role in a relationship and your place in her heart.
I am only about 30% finished reading, How to Be a Good Husband. I will be writing another post regarding this issue. If you are interested in receiving the post about this topic in your inbox please drop your email in below. No spam, just the next blog post about this topic.
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How did you treat the women in your life today?